Sexual recession

The Polish version was published: 1.08.2019

Up until quite recently, a common belief was that we would be having more sex every year. The sexual revolution was supposed to do away with taboos and restrictions on sex life. While it is true that the world faced an unexpected threat in the form of HIV in the 80s and 90s, therapy and preventive measures are becoming increasingly effective, and the WHO has actually been reporting a decline in the number of new HIV patients since 2010, making it less impactful a restriction. The liberals rejoiced at being liberated from the shackles of puritanism, but for conservatives, the changes were a reason to worry – they pointed to the hazards of increasingly early sexual initiation, the erosion of Christian ethics and the danger of objectifying one’s partner. Both the conservatives and the liberals were convinced that there would be more sex, though their opinion on the matter differed. However, the last three years provide evidence to the contrary. More and more research shows that we are nearing a turning point. People in the West have sex less often than they did a dozen years ago, and the sex they do have is increasingly unsatisfying and assumes completely new forms. Is the western world standing on the precipice of a sexual recession?

Less sex, worse sex

The English-speaking countries and Japan provide the strongest evidence that there is an issue. The 2018 General Social Survey conducted in the US shows that the percentage of Americans who did not have sex in the previous year was the highest since 1989 at 23%. Those blaming this state of affairs on an ageing society would be mistaken, however. While it does factor in, the percentage of those who did not have sex in the 60+ age group remains at 50%. It is the youngest generation studied that matters here – those between 18 and 29 years of age. This group experienced the largest drop in sexual activity, especially between 2008 and 2018.

It is not only the lack of sex that is the issue here: teens also date less. Twenge’s research shows that only approx. 56% of all older high school children went on dates in 2015

Contrary to the still-popular stereotype of sexually-active men and uninterested women, those who admitted to having had no sex in the previous year in that age group were 18% women and 28% men. This problem has been covered by the American press, which calls it a recession or even the Great American Sex Drought. Kate Julian was the first to describe the phenomenon on the pages of The Atlantic in December 2018, that is before the publication of the widely-covered GSS data for that year. Julian referenced long-term research conducted by Jean M. Twenge from the University of San Diego, who equates the American sexual recession with a generational shift and believes that the problem primarily affects millennials and Generation Z, but also younger people as well. While the decreasing age of first sexual intercourse was up until recently considered a problem, it is now increasing in the US, with the percentage of high school students who have had sex dropping from 54 to 40 percent. It is not only the lack of sex that is the issue here: teens also date less. Twenge’s research shows that only approx. 56% of all older high school children went on dates in 2015; the number for previous generations was approx. 85%.

However, not only the United States is affected by a sexual recession. In her article, Julian refers to similar data from Australia, Finland, the United Kingdom, the Netherlands and Sweden. The most salient example is Japan, where, as Kate Julian demonstrates, 47% of all married people studied reported not having sex in the previous month, and a study conducted by the Family Planning Federation of Japan (Nihon Kazoku Keikaku Renmei) in 2015 showed that 46% of women and 25% of men aged 16 to 25 “despise” sexual contact, with many young people also declaring that they are not planning to get married. This increasing disinterest with sex is particularly worrying as Japan has for some time now been experiencing a rapid population shrinkage (the number of births has dropped to the lowest level it has been in around one hundred years, while the number of deaths remains more or less the same year to year).

The Polish sex drought

How does Poland compare in this context? The data on the sexual lives of Poles is scarce, with the most exhaustive and frequently-cited source being the research conducted by Professor Zbigniew Izdebski and Polpharma. Their last publication on the subject is the “Sexuality of Poles 2017” report created as part of the Polish Sexual Health Programme (OPZS), which was covered by the press in early 2017. According to the report, 76% Poles aged between 18 and 49 have sex. The number for 2011 was 79%, and for 1997 – 86%. Only 42% reported being satisfied with their sex life, compared to 68% in 2011. At the same time, the sexual recession in Poland is not as far-reaching as in the other countries mentioned, and the lowering of the age of first sexual intercourse is still a problem.

Only 42% reported being satisfied with their sex life, compared to 68% in 2011. At the same time, the sexual recession in Poland is not as far-reaching as in the other countries mentioned, and the lowering of the age of first sexual intercourse is still a problem

We are also experiencing increasing fertility-related issues. This problem affects the entire world – research conducted by Hagai Levine from the Hebrew University of Jerusalem suggests that sperm counts dropped by more than 52% in Europe, the US, Australia and New Zealand between 1973 and 2011. In addition, research conducted by Professor Maciej Kurpisz, andrologist and geneticist from the Poznań branch of the Polish Academy of Sciences, suggests that, in Kurpisz’s own words, “the ejaculate of a Polish man contains three to five times less sperm than that of a Canadian or Finnish man. An average Pole ejaculates between 40 and 50 million sperm cells – that is the amount contained in one cubic centimetre of sperm produced by those two other nationalities.” Though Izdebski’s research indicates that men are more satisfied with sex than women, Polish men are also becoming more disinterested with it. Sexologist and therapist Andrzej Gryżewski claims that sexology congresses reference data according to which 36% of men do not have sex. It is thus possible that Poland is on the brink of a sexual drought.

The virtualisation of sex

A subversive question arises here: is the sexual recession actually a negative phenomenon? After all, it also has positive sides: fewer teenage pregnancies, higher age of first sexual intercourse, fewer risky sexual behaviours. Still, the decline in sexual activity is accompanied by a human bonding crisis. An overwhelming majority of sexual encounters occur within relationships, and one of the causes of the sexual recession, as pointed out by Julian, is the fact that relationships are formed much later and less frequently. In addition, sexual behaviours do not disappear, instead taking on different forms, not all of them positive.

Analysts and publicists interested in the issue have no doubts that one of the main causes of the declining interest in sex is the extreme proliferation of pornography, especially online. According to Psychology Today, 75% of men and 41% of women in the US watch porn, and more than 60 million people experience problems related to its excessive use. Pornography is directly related to masturbation, which is also on the rise. Between 1992 and 2014, the percentage of American men who admitted to having masturbated that week doubled to 54%, and the percentage of women tripled to 26%. This demonstrates that the recession does not involve the disappearance of sexual behaviours – it is just that their forms have changed, primarily by moving from the real to the virtual world.

According to Birchard, porn users end up bonding with the image on the screen in the same way one bonds with a real partner

Boston University Professor and philosopher Karolina Lewestam, who also teaches at Warsaw University, is the author of probably the most in-depth research on the subject in Poland. In her essay Gang Bang na mózgu (Gangbang of the brain) published in Pismo, she references Jean M. Twenge and Professor Izdebski, as well as bringing up some data from one of the most popular pornography websites – Pornhub. It so happens that Pornhub publishes comprehensive annual reports on user activity (titled Pornhub Insights). Let us take a closer look at this data. In 2018, the website was visited 33.5 billion times. That is 5 billion more clicks than in 2017. 92 million people view pornographic content every day (this data is also referenced by Lewestam). The authors of the report proudly note that this number is equal to the sum of the populations of Canada, Australia and Poland. The scale of the phenomenon is enormous, and these numbers come from only a single platform. Also, while men were until recently its primary users, the percentage of female visitors is growing, and was as high as 29% in 2018.

The porn problem affects Poland as well. Poland is among 20 countries which generate the most traffic on Pornhub. The data is given in absolute numbers, which implies that this is a result of the fact that Poland is simply a large country. However, Pornhub stats show that we are ahead of Russia, South Africa, Ukraine and Argentina, which are even larger. The aforementioned research conducted by Prof. Izdebski show that the percentage of Poles, both male and female, who admit to masturbating has increased to 36% (compared to 21% in 2011 and 16% in 2005).

The traditional view of the negative impact of pornography on sex life and intimate relationships is that it creates inappropriate or unrealistic expectations. Pornographic depictions of sex are idealised in terms of “performance”, length and variety on the one hand, and with regard to the appearance of the actors’ bodies on the other. Naturally, relationships with real partners can be disappointing in this regard. This is only the tip of an iceberg, however. Pornography, especially of the online variety, is addictive. It has the most profound impact on individuals suffering from a sense of emptiness and loneliness, which is an increasingly common phenomenon in the modern world and modern Poland. The mechanism is the same as in the case of cocaine and other such substances – first comes a short-lived sense of arousal and relief, followed by an even stronger sense of emptiness and loneliness, which gives rise to the feeling of need for an even larger dose in the future. Pornography, unlike drugs, cheats the brain in one more way – oxytocin is released, which is responsible for social bonding. This effect is described by Doctor Thaddeus Birchard in his book “Overcoming Sex Addiction”. According to Birchard, porn users end up bonding with the image on the screen in the same way one bonds with a real partner. They also internalise the narrative offered by pornographic content – a narrative which has been criticised for years by conservatives (and, to a lesser extent, by feminists) for its objectification of sexual partners, lack of emotions and presenting sex as a sport and a game. The vicious circle of porn addiction thus gradually erodes one’s ability to form relationships. The more involved a porn user becomes in this dangerous cycle, the less inclination and will they have to enter into direct sexual relationships with other humans. The same release can be achieved easier – without having to put in the effort to find a partner and without having to confront the reality of another human being.

Poland is among 20 countries which generate the most traffic on Pornhub

The impact of pop culture

We are now approaching another important cause of why young people are experiencing a sexual recession. The erotic ideal, with which real life is incompatible, is created not only by pornography, but also by the entirety of pop culture, which reinforces the natural instinct of looking for a healthy, strong and attractive partner. The influence of pop culture is growing due to the increasingly effective and commonly-accessible mass media. One of the reasons why American teenagers are afraid to date and people in the West have difficulties forming relationships is the fear of confronting that ideal. Every sexual relationship, even a short-lived one, requires that one lays themselves bare, both literally and figuratively, before their partner. This requires showing one’s weaknesses as well, making pornography seem like a safer alternative to sex, which involves the threat of being rejected. The fear of rejection is not unjustified. Co-founder of the OkCupid dating site Christian Rudder, in his 2014 book Dataclysm: Love, Sex, Race & Identity, points out that women consider 85% of all men on dating apps unattractive (this data is referenced by Jordan Peterson in his 12 Rules for Life, among others). Men, who have become used to the idealised bodies of porn stars and Instagram models, have also become more selective. Unfortunately, there are not enough models to go around. Popular culture, and pornography in particular, has created another vicious circle – perusing idealised images results in low self-esteem, a negative perception of one’s own body and aversion to other people, and the related negative feelings require release, which can (seemingly) be achieved with… a new dose of images and another masturbation session.

Another factor which discourages from forming sexual relationships is the increasing level of work-related stress. While the west has been putting more emphasis on work-life balance, Poles, as demonstrated by a study titled “The Workforce View in Europe 2017”, experienced greater degrees of work-related stress than the British, French, Spanish, Dutch, Germans, the Swiss or Italians. Many other studies indicate that our mental health is declining, which incentivises finding a quick release online rather than building a relationship with another person. Another vicious circle of sexual dysfunction is created – erectile dysfunction (also caused by stress) affects more than 3 million men in Poland according to R. Dadej. The condition makes it either impossible or more difficult to have actual sex, but virtual satisfaction is unaffected, making it the more frequently-chosen solution.

A challenge for Christianity

The list of reasons why our sexuality is changing goes on and on. Kate Julian sums it up as follows: “Name a modern blight, and someone, somewhere, is ready to blame it for messing with the modern libido.” The impact of the sexual revolution may be surprising for its supporters – the easy access to erotic content and dismantling of taboos not only failed to solve many issues, but have also created new ones. As pointed out by Zbigniew Nosowski, “the sexual paradise utopia could not be implemented”. Nosowski even references Zygmunt Bauman in his commentary, who could hardly be called a conservative. As cited by Nosowski, “the old and allegedly old-fashioned companions of sex [love, security, permanence] were perhaps its necessary supports (necessary not for technical perfection of the performance, but for its gratifying potential).” However, the problem here is that we are increasingly sceptical not only of sex, but of those “companions” as well. The age of forming long-term relationship increases, and young people live with their parents more frequently (according to CBOS, the percentage of unmarried people aged 25-44 who live with their parents grew from 34% in 2005 to 45% in 2017).

Is the solution, then, to return to traditional values, to the Christian approach to sex? It certainly reconnects sexual activity with a stable relationship, bonding and love. On the other hand, it is viewed by many from the perspective of its strict moral requirements

Is the solution, then, to return to traditional values, to the Christian approach to sex? It certainly reconnects sexual activity with a stable relationship, bonding and love. On the other hand, it is viewed by many from the perspective of its strict moral requirements, which generate fear, resulting in sexuality, as summed up by Wojciech Eichelberger, “being rejected as something filthy and uncontrollable. The body and the mind are in conflict, a tug of war between the genitals and the heart.” Certainly, both the Church and various organisations have their work cut out for them if they want to develop a convincing language in which they could talk about the benefits of deep bonds. Perhaps then, the new generations will be able to rediscover them.

The translation was financed by the National Freedom Institute – Centre for Civil Society Development from the funds of The Civil Society Organisations Development Programme 2018-2030

 Tłumaczenie sfinansowano przez Narodowy Instytut Wolności – Centrum Rozwoju Społeczeństwa Obywatelskiego ze środków Programu Rozwoju Organizacji Obywatelskich na lata 2018-2030